A writer with a blank paper!

Posted on January 19, 2012


A pen is in my hand and a blank paper on the table. I am trying my best to get an idea from my mind, so that I can write something; as it has been a long time since I wrote something in my blog for the last time.  I know you people always believe me, still if  you do not; then do believe me when I am saying that I am screwed up with life and career in such a way that my mind is not working the way I want it to do. So I am going to do the same thing; which I always do when my mind does not work properly. When my mind stops working, then I let my heart take control over my mind.

As today is my heart’s day; so today I will try to write something from my heart. But here comes the big question “What will I write?” If I will try to write something in order to try and bring a change to the world, to the society, to the country, to the person; will that work? To be honest; I do not think so. Before me lots of other brilliant writers tried their best to do the same with their words; but it did not work. So how can a person like me; who is not even sure if he is a writer, can bring a change by holding a pen in his hand and some thoughts in his mind.

Then, what will I write? My friends tell that, all my writings contain emotions and honesty which helps a person to get connected with them.Yes even I know that, I am honest. But I am not sure, if life will let me stay honest. I started realizing that, adulthood being responsibility to a person. And I can also say you with my own experience that, it not only increases the responsibility, but also increases the demands. It may be from a relationship, it may be from the job, it may be from family; the demands keep on increasing with each passing day. So in order to meet the demands I am afraid if life will not take my honesty away from me. After all result is what it matters; intention and labor hardly matters.

And yes, I am emotional; but I do not really count it among my strengths; I consider it as a weakness of mine. May be my biggest weakness! Like all intelligent people, I also understand that, “If you do not want to get hurt, then do not expect anything from anybody”. But like every human being, I really expect something from those people whom I love, care. I know it’s a mistake; but still that’s the sign of a human being. If I will do everything right then I will be God. And I am not God.  But it really hurts, when a person realize that,  he chose wrong peoples as companions in this journey of life. But after all they are also human beings, so they can’t also do everything right in life. So with time, they will also realize that, they do not have the emotions of a human in them, which is their biggest weakness. So I do not think there is any point in defining those emotions with words like love, hurt, pain, anger, joy, sorrows, and frustrations.

Then my heart is asking me, if I will write a love story. But what’s the point in writing it, if we can experience it by our own. We all fall in love, we all know what love is all about, we all know how love can be both constructive and destructive simultaneously just like fire, we all know love can be both beautiful and painful. We all know love can make life either heaven or hell. Then what is something new about love, which I can write? The answer is very simple, “Nothing”.

I know I can’t change anything or anybody with my words. If I will write something good, I will get some appreciation from you all wonderful people and I will get satisfied thinking that, one day I may be a writer. Or else you people are going to ignore it, and then I will get hurt thinking that, I can never be a writer.

But do really words has that much power in them to bring a change. We enjoy when we read a beautiful love story. We find tears in our eyes if the ending is a sad one. But in reality we never try to realize, someone loves us a lot; rather we search for a person whom we can love and then we expect that same love in return. We never realize that love is unconditional. We can’t ask for the same amount of love in return.

When someone writes about a old lady staying alone, with all the troubles and no one to help. We feel sad for her. But does this really enough for her. Is not it our duty to see, if any old person in our neighborhood or locality is alone and need someone?  Why we expect someone else to ask us for help, can’t we help that person by our own?

Words can do nothing except wasting few more papers directly and few more trees indirectly; until and unless we will change. I know today was not my day. I did not write something excellent. But there is always tomorrow. I will again try to write something good, and yes with my mind working properly. I know today is same as yesterday; but with the hope that tomorrow there will be a change for good in this world and we will bring it, I am saying you “Good Bye” for now

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