I never knew how much I love you,
Until I left you.
I never realized how much it hurts to live a life without you,
Until I hurt you.
It was as if an emptiness I was living with,
It was as if a painful loneliness I was dealing with,
It was a feeling as if,
The soil which lies beneath me
Slid the moment I left you.
It was a tear I was trying to hide,
It was a smile I was trying to fake,
While I was trying to live a life without you.;
When I saw you were not there for me,
I tried and did everything possible to forget you;
but I came out as helpless as,
holding a tie in my hands I used to wait for you.
I still find it difficult to tie knot,
I still find it difficult to remember and keep the handkerchief in my pocket;
but no one could ever reach that much close to feel me without opening her eye,
or no one could find her place in my locket.
It was a regret that was making life impossible,
Until I tried to see you in someone else,
Until I tried to give smile on someone else’s face,
Until I tried to find that happiness in someone else’s smile,
Until I followed the illusion leaving the reality behind,
Without sorting out few differences between me and you.
The moment I used the same words for someone else,
As I used to say to you, which were, “I love you”;
I realized in someone else I could never find you.
Someone else could never smile as beautifully as you used to do;
Someone could never leave me again,
With leaving beautiful moments few.
—————————————————–
I know these day, I am not that much active with my blog. I am really sorry about that. I was down with fever. I hope I will come up with something good enough to post here soon. These are few words, which I typed on my cell phone while I was traveling in a train. See you all soon. 🙂
Aisha
September 30, 2012
Ah so the fever is everywhere. Everyone I know is down with fever. Get well soon Arindam… And the poem is marvelous. So beautifully put in words. I can totally connect because I found how much I loved this person the moment he was walking away. It was painful to know the pain he must be in.
Arindam
September 30, 2012
Is it really so! 🙂 Thanks a lot for liking the poem. But it has very little to do with my personal life. My ex was never that wonderful to deserve a poem from me. 🙂
Aisha
September 30, 2012
Lol haha. Well I hope someone walks into your life very soon and never leaves (if they haven’t already) 😛
Arindam
September 30, 2012
Ha ha ! 🙂 Sorry to say this, but no one ever dared to entered my life again. I’m still waiting for that beautiful lady who can realize there is a life waiting for all of us beyond success and failure. 🙂
amira
September 30, 2012
nicely sums up the feeling of losing someone only to realize later how much that person is missed. but it could really be an illusion…
anyways wish you a quick recovery.
Arindam
September 30, 2012
Thanks Amira. Yes, sometimes love too looks like illusion. It’s always hard for a person to accept that, he/she made a wrong choice when things no more work the same way. Some compromise with their dreams, with their lifestyle and some also chose to change the way they are actually in the name of understanding to go ahead with the relationship. And some just remain the way they are while letting that illusion to hurt them rest of their lives. 🙂 I am not saying I am right while saying so, but I believe so.
renxkyoko
September 30, 2012
Wow ! Nice poem. But that’s a normal feeling, isn’t it. A person realizes the value of another only when he or she is gone.
Arindam
September 30, 2012
Yes, it’s normal Ren! 🙂 I can guarantee you about most of the good men; but I am not sure what’s the take of girls on it! 🙂
Life With The Top Down
September 30, 2012
Be well soon! The poem is beautiful.
Arindam
September 30, 2012
Thanks a lot! I am pretty well now. 🙂
becwillmylife
September 30, 2012
Beautiful poem, Arindam. Love….be it real or fictional can cause the most joy and the most pain. Your poem definitely revealed that!
Arindam
September 30, 2012
I am going to agree with you completely on this Becky. What I believe is a person does not need to go through the pain himself to realize how destructive it can be!
mj monaghan
September 30, 2012
I liked this a lot, Arindam. Well done on love and loss. Tough, but inevitable part of life, eh?
Arindam
September 30, 2012
I am glad you liked it Mj. 🙂 It’s the reality of life. Does not matter how painful or devastating it can be, but it happens with people.
earthriderjudyberman
September 30, 2012
I hope you’re feeling much better, Arindam. Your poem is beautiful and very sad. The image of walking in the rain to hide your tears … very powerful.
Arindam
September 30, 2012
Yes Judy, after spending more than a week inside my room now I am well. 🙂
I am glad that my words and picture could speak you in such a way!
soumyav
September 30, 2012
Take care and get well soon!
Arindam
September 30, 2012
Thanks for the wish and concern Soumya!
shanthisethuraman
September 30, 2012
My sincere prayer for your speedy recovery of your health Arindam.. The Poem Life with you and
without you” is very good. It has easily reached everyone’s heart/mind, how one can realise
the loneliness when someone closed person is left for a long time..
Arindam
September 30, 2012
Thanks Shanthi! Yes, it hurts when someone close decides to leave you without letting you know the reason. 🙂
Maxi
September 30, 2012
Wonderful prose, Arindam. One could feel this way about the loss of anyone who was cherished. Hope you feel better; no fun being sick.
Blessings ~ Maxi
Arindam
September 30, 2012
Maxi I was missing your blessings, as I could not write any new posts. But I hope soon I can write something good. I am now so addicted to writing that, I find it difficult to live a life without pressing keys for my blog. 🙂
Paula
September 30, 2012
Hello Arindam, I hope you are feeling better now – (I had a fever too). The quote at the beginning of the post is as beautiful as your poem. Who wrote the quote? See you soon, Paula
Arindam
September 30, 2012
Hello Paula! Yes, I am almost fine now! 🙂 I can take the credit for the poem and picture; but I can’t take the credit for the quote. it was one of my most favorite quotes; so thought of sharing it here with this picture of mine. 🙂 Glad you liked it!
LuAnn
September 30, 2012
The moment I used the same words for someone else, as I used to say to you, which were, “I love you”; I realized in someone else I could never find you. That moment of realization so well spoken… so soulful Arindam. 🙂
Arindam
September 30, 2012
Thank you Lu Ann. 🙂 I am glad you could able to catch my favorite line in this poem. 🙂
Angelia Sims
September 30, 2012
This is very heart-wrenching and beautiful. I will pray you continue to heal and get better. Rest easy.
Arindam
September 30, 2012
Thanks a lot Angelia. 🙂 I am better now. Yo are one among those people who always connect with my words. A big thank you for the person you are. I know I am younger to you, but glad to find a friend in you. Lots and lots of good wishes for you. 🙂
dreamtheimmpossible
September 30, 2012
Your words left me numb…
TC and Get well soon… 🙂
Arindam
September 30, 2012
Thanks a lot! 🙂
Elyse
October 1, 2012
HI Arindam, A beautiful poem composed in a fever. How apt? Love is often described as a fever too.
Glad you’re feeling better — but I hope it doesn’t hurt your poetry!
Arindam
October 1, 2012
Hi Elyse,
Yes, here also love is described as a fever. We call it Loveria, just like Malaria. 🙂
I was wondering where are you these days, glad to see you back in my blog.
Elyse
October 1, 2012
I have been really busy at work and haven’t been reading anybody as faithfully as usual. Or if so, I’ve been quick.
Some of your posts don’t come up when I click on the link in my email. I have to hunt and don’t always have the time.
Arindam
October 5, 2012
Yes, it’s election time there; so I could realize your schedule. I can always wait to see you in my blog. 🙂
Elyse
October 5, 2012
🙂
souldipper
October 1, 2012
I’m working through some sort of bug today…hope you are well on your way to feeling well again. It’s not fun. Feels like peering through veils or wading through Vaseline.
Hope you can let go with love, Arindam. Past lovers are great teachers.
Arindam
October 5, 2012
Thanks Amy Aunty. Yes I am better now.
Yes, Past lovers are great teachers, but sometimes they destroy their students future. 🙂
souldipper
October 5, 2012
Only if the student allows that attitude, Arindam. Students and teachers, alike, create their own experiences with thought. One of my teachers once had me dig out the negative beliefs I was carrying like excess baggage. It’s amazing how we allow those beliefs to block and reinforce negativity.
You are so very worthy of great love. Believing that and feeling it as though love is already with you will manifest a beloved when it is time.
Arindam
October 12, 2012
Amy Aunty, yes I will for sure try to believe and feel those things which you want me to do. If I have a teacher like you, then I can act as a good student too. I know you are not going to leave hands of weaker students. 🙂
pattisj
October 1, 2012
Hope you’re feeling better. A train would be a great place to write! It worked well for you. 🙂
Arindam
October 1, 2012
yes Patti, I am much better now. I wrote most of my poems at unusual places. My most favorite poem of my own is I typed on my cell when was sitting with my friends on the terrace, during a party. 🙂
ZinalBhadra
October 1, 2012
Aww…Hope you are feeling better now..
Somehow i don’t understand how people write such beautiful poems…I am not a poem person at all..
So whoever writes poems…gets my appreciation as a default.. 🙂
Arindam
October 1, 2012
Yes I am much better now, although the rain falling from the sky heavily taking test of my strength. 🙂
I honestly want to ask you, was this poem worth such a big complement from a publish writer like you! If your answer is yes, then for sure the moment I feel like not getting appreciation from you for my writing, I will try and come up with a poem. 🙂
justanotherwakeupcall
October 1, 2012
how true! the true impact of leaving someone you cared about is only felt later. When the paint doesn’t dull after days, weeks, months and even years later – you realize how deep the relationship actually was. get well soon 🙂
Arindam
October 5, 2012
Thanks a lot for these caring words. But sometimes it hurts too, when the relationship is not that deep and we pretend it to be deep. 🙂
Hareem
October 1, 2012
Well written and get well soon!:)
Arindam
October 1, 2012
Thanks Hareem. I am much better now! 🙂 Thanks a lot for the concern.
Hareem
October 1, 2012
You’re Welcome! 🙂
writingfeemail
October 2, 2012
Please take care of yourself. I know you are far away from your mother who would likely fix you chicken soup and warm tea. But it isn’t crippling your creativity. Really nice poem.
Arindam
October 5, 2012
Yes Renee, now my mom is in your part of world. So there is no chance of meeting her does not matter how much I need her. 🙂
happykidshappymom
October 2, 2012
Hi Arindam, beautiful poem. It reminds me of one you wrote a while ago — but it was from a different perspective. And you wrote this while on the train? Wow. What a great use of your time, and how amazing to come up with something so lovely so quickly. I hope you are feeling much better!
Arindam
October 5, 2012
Hi Melissa, Yes that was a poem named Silent wish. I hope you were talking about that one.
And yes I write most of my poems at unusual places and at unusual times. As you know I am not quite a poet; so if I would try to write a poem just for the sake of writing I could never come up with a single line.
belasbrightideas
October 3, 2012
Glad you’re feeling better!
Arindam
October 5, 2012
Thanks Bela. 🙂
P.I.
October 4, 2012
Travel more in trains, Arindam! The poem is so very thoughtfully written!
Hope you’re feeling better.
Arindam
October 5, 2012
Now I am tired of travelling in trains and you want me to travel more. 🙂 Thanks a lot! I am glad you liked this poem. Yes I am much better now.
Sunshine
October 4, 2012
Train rides are a good source of inspiration for you! 🙂 I love your poster and poem, Arindam…
Be well and sending you *cyber* fever busting warriors to scare your evil germs away!! 🙂 haha…
Arindam
October 5, 2012
Thanks a lot Sunshine. Thanks a lot For your Cyber fever busting warriors. 🙂 But I feel Your kinds words work better than those warriors. It’s been long I have been yo your blog. Will be there soon. 🙂
Sunshine
October 5, 2012
No worries, Arindam…take life easy. Have a great weekend!!! 🙂
earthriderjudyberman
October 5, 2012
Arindam, I love your poetry and writing. Thank you for the perspectives you have shared. I nominated you for The Lovely Blogger Award. You can find the details on my blog.
Arindam
October 5, 2012
Thanks a lot Judy! It feels great to get mentioned by you. I am going to visit your blog next. 🙂
Nandini
October 5, 2012
Oh this is a great poem, Arindam. I could feel it. Beautiful work! 🙂
And hope you are fine. I’m still left with the bad throat, but fever is all gone. 🙂
Arindam
October 5, 2012
Thank You Nandini. 🙂
Same here, fever is all gone but throat is still troubling me. 🙂
Patti Kuche
October 8, 2012
These are such beautiful tender words Arindam, the feverish passions of love and heartbreak rendered here so well.
Do hope you are feeling much better soon!
Arindam
October 9, 2012
Thanks Patti! Yes always try to capture love both in its constructive and destructive forms with my words. 🙂
Yes although I am not completely all right yet, but I am feeling much better now.
Joycelyn
October 9, 2012
I admire the way you write, comes deep from the heart 🙂
Arindam
October 10, 2012
I am glad to hear that. Yes I writer from heart not from my mind. But I am lucky to have people like you, who enjoy reading thoughts which come from my heart. 🙂
Joycelyn
October 10, 2012
Reading lovely poetry with profound words makes me feel happy. I consider yours one 🙂
Arindam
October 10, 2012
Thank you! 🙂 I hope that’s what I can say to such kind words of yours.
Joycelyn
October 10, 2012
No worries! Have a happy day! 🙂
Blood-Ink-Diary
October 17, 2012
Poignant. Piercing. Sigh! Adhuure khwaab kee aadhi sazaa is painful, but, I am not hear to give you unsolicited advice – your poem itself reveals what a gem you are!
I leave you with a passage from Rumi’s mathnavi I, 3495 -96:
“What strikes the oyster shell
doesn’t damage the pearl.”
Blood Ink stamps that you are that pearl !
Arindam
October 17, 2012
WOW! Thank you for these kind words. You made my day special with these beautiful and thoughtful words of years. You surely know how to inspire a person. Lots and lots of good wishes for you too! 🙂