Confidence lies in Overconfidence

There are very few people in this world- who have talents, who are hard working. But do really all of them are successful in their lives? Do really all of them are happy? No not at all. It’s because, some people do not have the most important criteria to be successful or happy in them, i.e. Confidence. All though the dictionary meaning of confidence is “belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities”, but for me confidence is an inner feeling which comes from within a person. It’s a gut feeling which says, “Yes I can…. do it!”.

“If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started.” -Marcus Tullius Cicero

This quote is actually suits me to the perfection. I know I can do lots of things, and I do believe that I am good with that job in comparison to few others. But somehow I am a loser because I do not have the confidence to convince others that, yes I can do it. You can’t do justice with any task if you do not have the confidence in you. If you can’t believe that you are going to do something for sure, then why someone else is going to believe in you. Confidence acts as the fuel to achieve whatever you want. You can’t win unless you have the confidence that you will win.

“It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.”  -Sally Field

Sometimes I get the feeling that yes I am confident enough to do this. But I have a fear that may be someone else has not faith in my ability, or else I may say that they do not have the confidence in me. Should I care about what other people say about my ability? Does my inner voice hold no importance to me? Why shall I let others to judge me? How can other people know my strengths & weakness if I myself can’t realize it? What if I will stand in front of all and say I am really good at this & I am confident that I am going to do this what you people are thinking impossible for me?

I know some people can term it as over-confidence. But for me it’s not, because a person’s inner voice can never be wrong. My inner voice never told me that, I am going to lead the soccer team of my country & help it in winning the world cup. My inner voice never told me, to join politics; so that I will be the next prime minister of my country. My inner voice never told me that, I am going to do those things at which I am not good. But for sure it gives me feeling that “I am going to do it”, when it feels that, yes I am good at this. So Why I will get scared of others when I will say, “Yes I am really good at this, I am going to achieve this which you people are thinking I can’t.  What if you people are going to define my confidence as over confidence, even though you do not have scale and unit to measure my level of confidence?

“Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered – either by themselves or by others.”  -Mark Twain

Everyone has a genius in him. So to let other get that person discover, first he/she has to discover that in himself/herself. So the choice should be yours-“Whether you want to live and die undiscovered or to make other realize that one more genius discovered.”

So it may not sound good, it may not impress some of the people, it may go against you; still in life if you really feel you are good at something, then stand tall while saying that “I am confident that……….I can do it. I may seem as overconfident while saying so, but to be over confident we all need to be confident first”.

For me just like breathe is important to stay alive, confidence is important to make others feel that you are actually alive.

“Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”  -Norman Vincent Peale

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59 thoughts on “Confidence lies in Overconfidence

  1. Well said, my friend. Well said. I have confidence in myself because I recognize an inner light of beauty that is a reflection of the abundance of love of Universe/God/Source and the mirror of the beautiful souls about me. I have confidence, because if I do not, then I doubt the beauty of this world. I know I am worthy, but I remain humble, knowing I am not singular or special in my worth, but rather a proclamation of the worthy spirits in us all. Peace and Light, Sam :)

  2. ‘Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right (Henry Ford).’

    Beautiful written, dear Arindam. I think about this whole topic a lot. Confidence is a good thing. It makes you strong. And if you’re strong and confident you can pass that to other people as well.. Have a great day! Cassie.

  3. Hi,
    Another very well written post.
    I agree, confidence will certainly help to get you to where you would like to go in life, and others can also tell if you are confident in what you are doing.

  4. confidence is nothing but to achieve something without other’s help. Over confidence
    is the thing which cannot be done will be done very quickly. It is my point my point of view.
    The topic is very good.

  5. I agree with Cassie’s statement, love the quote from Henry Ford. My confidence is in my Creator, The One Who put gifts in me and will bring them to fruition, for His glory.

    • I am glad to hear your interpretation of confidence. We all need to give respect to the gift we got and the one who gifted us with that specific gift called talent.

  6. Hi Arindam, wow — what a lot of work you’ve been putting into your blog! I enjoy this new look. And I enjoyed this post. It’s true — how you see yourself is very often how others will see you. It’s what you put out into the world, what you reveal of yourself, and a great amount of it is based on confidence. This time, your very last line is my favorite, “For me just like breathe is important to stay alive, confidence is important to make others feel that you are actually alive.” You are quite insightful! And I totally agree.

    • HI Melissa,
      Nice to see you back in my blog after a long long time. Yes, I did some changes with my blog. I am glad you liked it. :)
      I just hope that I can see myself in a better way, so that people will take me seriously. :) But I know it will take time. I was hoping that, you will like the last line.
      I was missing your thoughtful & inspiring words Melissa. Thanks a lot for taking your time to read this one, although I know you are busy with publication of your book. I know you are going to add one more to your achievement list with this book. Good Luck.

  7. this is just what the universe ordered. Thank you so much Arindam. i’m having a bout of no-confidence lately…like that will do any good.

    • You are a confident person Barb, And I can’t believe you are falling short of confidence. I hope it’s just a matter of time to get the confidence back again.

  8. Confidence can be a tricky thing. It’s easy to maintain when things are going well, a little less so when things don’t turn out as planned. But we must have faith in ourselves or no one else will either. Stay confident friend.

    • You are absolutely right Renee. I can completely relate to your thought. As things are not going too well for me, so it’s really difficult for me to maintain this confidence thing. Still I will try my best to stay confident,

  9. thoughtful post!! i don’t know about you , but many of us have grown up thinking its not good to be confident or over confident. the line is hazy! and by the time one grows up and realises the importance of having self confidence, its become too much a part of oneself. the habit of putting oneself down! see a lot of young adults grappling with it! great post :) keep them coming

    • Thanks a lot Sapna. :) But I am having a feeling that, you are a really confident person. So it hardly matters if you have grown up thinking that, its not good to be confident. As a small town boy, not only me but lot of my friends are somehow find it difficult to get the confidence in us sometimes. Still life always gives us lesson ad makes us better. So I really hope one day I can gather enough confidence in me to be called as overconfident by others. :)

  10. I used to feel stupid all the time. I worked in a university with incredibly bright people, and I felt I didn’t measure up. Well, they were professors, I was a secretary. Then one day, the brightest of the bunch needed help from a maintenance crew. It turned out that he needed help to change a light bulb — in a table lamp.

    Immediately, my confidence grew 10 times. I was smarter than the smartest person around — I could change a light bulb.

    That made me realize that while I may not be able to do all things, there are always some things I can do better than others. And I stopped being afraid to find the ones that fit me.

    • Wow! It was a simple story but with a deeper thought. Even I believe we all posses some qualities which others do not. We can do some things in a better way than others, but the important thing is the realization of those things at which we are best. To be honest, till now I have not found those unique qualities in me. May be someday I will. I just hope it will be soon.

  11. Arindam, the important thing is to be at peace with yourself, love the person that you are and just be yourself, then confidence just comes naturally.. :)

  12. The first time I saw a video of myself making a presentation, I could not believe how confident I looked. Truly, my knees were shaking. Since I wasn’t TRYING to look confident, I felt gratitude that I did. However, it has worked against me because those times when I really needed support, no one thought I needed it.

    So I am who I am, I decided. I strive for excellence (not perfection) and don’t chastise myself for my mistakes – just do it again until I get the results I want. Not the ones I THINK others want.

    One of my teachers taught, “It matters not what you think of me. What really matters is what I think of you.”

    I strive to live that premise, Arindam, but my ego takes me back to caring what others think all too often. Keeps me busy!

    I hope you trust just being the loving, kind and resourceful you.

    • Amy aunty, I always look up to you for these kind of advice. I am going to remember every single thing you said with this comment. One thing which I also believe just like you is” It hardly matters what others think about me, what it matters to me is that What I think about me”. But the thing is that, I make mistakes again and again. I hope someday I will do right things and right time.
      I will always try my best to be the way I am. :)

  13. Don’t laugh Arindam,but for me, if I don’t have a good nights rest, my confidence in doing even things that normally I would have no problem with, departs from me. Seriously. Getting enough sleep in order to energize oneself is so needed! Oh, and getting outside for some ahem, sunshine and fresh air always boosts the confidence level to high! :)

    • No I did not laugh Sunshine. :) Getting enough sleep to get the confidence in you, is fine. Every person has his/her way of getting that confidence in him/her, and yours way is a real good one. :)

  14. We all have our off days… I don’t know anyone who is confident all the time.Some make a good show of hiding their insecurities (we all have them), and then there are those who succeed despite their feelings of unworthiness or because they want to shed that feeling and yet it never goes away… Fascinating post.

    • Yes even I also feel the same. We all have our weakness & insecurities. But some how it’s also a truth that, the people who can hide it, makes other believe that, they are better than others. But still It can’t be termed as confidence, as after a point of time those weaknesses are bound to come out.
      Thanks a lot Elizabeth for taking your time to read this post.

      • Yes, dear one … It comes out when our buttons are pushed and we feel threatened or hurt. I’m yet to meet someone who is blase about the world and nothing bothers them. What I feel is important is that we must not give our power away to hurtful people. When people do things to be mean, walk away and don’t look back. This happens in the blogging world too and I’ve been in this game enough to knwo when peopel are pulling that stuff. Breathe and walk. :-)

    • Hi Angelia,
      Great to see you in the blog world after a long time. You are a really talented person, I do not think you should have any problem with confidence. And you are absolutely right, may be this what keeps us humble. Have a great week ahead and I hope now you are going to post something new in your blog.

  15. This is a great post and I certainly needed to see this today. I actually have tears in my eyes from the truth of this post, tears because I have always admired confidence in others, but I do not see it in myself. I’ve been struggling with this feeling lately…the feeling of not being “worthy” of success, not in my job..in my every day life. I am going to read this again..thanks for posting, sometimes you are just meant to come across these messages.

    • Thanks a lot for these kind words. I can’t believe this post spoke to you in such a way. But I do not think you should ever think that, you are not being worthy of success. You are what you are. There is not a single other person, who is like you or who can work some of the things in a better way than you. Like everyone else you are unique who posses some talents, which others do not. Thanks a lot for taking your time to read this one and sharing your beautiful thought here.

  16. Pingback: Self-confidence | ReStreaming

  17. Bro, I agree. So many brilliant minds but because they chose not to come out and fight for their dreams, they remained unnoticed. Still smart but not as successful as those who may not be academically gifted but took courage to speak and with hard work and persistence, made it with flying colors. My wife tells me, “Are you street smart or book smart?” Street smart are those with their wits and talent made it well whereas the book smart are those who can memorize a book, ace a test but once exposed to the real world can’t cope really well. I wan’t to say I’m both although I hope to be street smart. We need more than brains to survive life. Great post.

    • Bro I hope I am not book smart, I am bit of street smart. :) I preferred to study just few days before the exams till I completed my engineering. But bro I can tell you what I have seen is that, my of my friends are book smarts and they are quite successful in their lives. So may be the thing is that, it’s all in destiny. Thanks a lot bro for taking your time to read this one. :)

  18. and sometimes all it takes is a certain, quiet confidence to understand and accept who we are -with all of our strengths and weaknesses working to support each other. You are living your best Arindam and all best to you in being who you are!

    • Thank you for these kind words & wish Patti. Yes, even I learned with time that we all need to accept who we are; does not matter what others think about us.

  19. I agree with you, Arindam, that confidence must begin inside of us. But on some level, the opinions of others is important, too. Probably one feeds on the other. I often hear people say that they don’t care what anyone else thinks, but it’s very hard to maintain that attitude. We all need positive feedback from someone. As you asked: How else can we measure confidence?

    • Yes Sir Charles, opinion of others is important for sure; but it hurts when someone else tells us that, we can’t do it; and we think that may be he is right even though we have a feeling that we can do it. hope that is where confidence matters. Some people believe that, that is our over confidence to think that we can do it, although they believe we can’t.
      And I know my biggest weakness is that, I always give value to other’s opinion more that my own. I just hope, one day I will be confident enough to give respect to my own opinion also.
      Thanks a lot Sir Charles for taking your time to read this one. It always feels great to see you in my blog.

  20. Pingback: Thinking Too Much » Me and My Overconfidence

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