Confusing X and Y chromosomes

Few Days earlier one of my best friend called me and said , he is expecting a baby. It was one of those moments which I never experienced before. The reason is very simple- I have never ever in my dreams also imagined that, I have grown up to such an age that , I could take responsibility of a new life. If my friend can dare to do so, why can’t I. I should have married just like him, and should have ready to expect a baby. But I am such a coward that I can’t dare to do so. I believe, I can’t even dare to think so.

Today is May 27th, and on May 29th I will be 27years old. Still I could not dare to think beyond myself. The reason behind me thinking so is- whenever I ask the question to my self, ” Do I have that much courage to think that I can be a good father?” To be honest the answer I  get-  “No I do not have”. I do not want to give birth to one more child, who is again going to be called as just a common man of my country like 1 billion others; who works hard in order to pursue his dreams and who loose many thing and end up being a failure. I can never think of giving birth to another life, until and unless I can afford to fund his/her dreams. It may sound foolish. But it’s the biggest reality. It’s very easy to give birth to a child in biological process, in comparison to give him the identity in this planet among billions of other lives. I am not going to think like some millions of other losers in my country, who think that their children can achieve what they could not. Rather I would prefer to see my children achieve their own dreams. But for that I have to fund them. I can’t expect them to be born as an extraordinary human being, who can fight with every odd to achieve his/her dreams. So the idea is very simple, I do not want to increase the population of my country for the sake of giving myself a chance to experience fatherhood.

Mendelian inheritance 9 3 3 1

Mendelian inheritance 9 3 3 1 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When I was in college, I studied Mendelian inheritance. It is a scientific theory of how hereditary characteristics are passed from parent organisms to their offspring. In reality, I do not remember how the X-chromosome plays with the Y-Chromosomes, in order to decide the future of the child. But I know my children are going to inherit many things from me. I know they will be good looking like me and may be they will feel proud of that or may be sometimes they will do little bit of flirting with opposite sex just as I do. But what are the things I am afraid of is that, they will never realize the value of money or they can never be able to show some fake emotions in order to prove that they are good human beings or maybe they can never be good in judging people just as I do. They may also inherit bad qualities like arrogance, anger and ego from me. I can tell you these things make life hell, and I am afraid to say that- but when my children will realize that it will be too late. So what’s the point in bringing some lives to this planet, where everyone believes that “if you can’t make it, then fake it” and where everyone says that, “be the change you want to see in the world” but no one dares to do so.

I know it’s a personal opinion to whether bring a new life to this planet or not, yet I believe it’s always better to have the realization with you that, if you can fund his dreams or not; because no one is going to do it for you. Everyone else other than parents  is going to do it as duty, responsibility or for the sake of providing minimum requirements to a person who needs so.


56 thoughts on “Confusing X and Y chromosomes

  1. This decision isn’t necessary for you to make today, I don’t think. Some people are ready at a younger age then others. Some grow up when they get the responsibility. Some are never ready for it. And some never get the choice.

    You can just relax and let life happens. See where it takes you, while enjoying the ride. As a sensitive man, I imagine you will be a sweet, loving dad, whenever that happens.

    An early happy birthday to you, Arindam. The 29th of May is a good day to be born — that’s when I gave birth to my blog!

    • No I am not rushing in to these phases of life. But the thing is that, if a person of my age can take a such bold responsibility, why I am so afraid. I know every individual is different. But I know I am a person with full of weaknesses. SO to he honest I wonder what if my next generation will inherit those qualities from me. Even though I know they may also born with some extraordinary god gifted talent. But I really believe that, it’s always better to consider the worst scenario, as most of the time I end up being in that situation. :)
      Thanks a lot Elyse, for the birth day wish!

  2. I think giving birth isn’t always that easy, but raising children is definitely a big responsibility. I am not sure, if you are a coward, only because you are not ready for that. As you said, it takes more than daring! As for me, I am happy, that my parents never gave up on me :-D

    • Yes dear, giving birth is not an easy process; but for sure it’s easier than raising them. And just like you my parents also never gave up on me. The thing is that I actually take unnecessary worried myself. :) Have a great week ahead Cassie. :)

  3. My own son is 31 and getting married in July. They are talking about starting a family in a year or so, and I think they will be able to afford to do it. However, our entire planet is unstable, between politics, and companies like Monsanto trying to take over, and control us all. As much as I love the grandchildren I already have, I’ve asked my youngest to contemplate the reality of the world today. Too, there are so many children already born in need of a good home, I would think adopting a child would be the way to go. I guess it is not the same as having your ‘own’ child, but I’m sure for the child that finds a real home, it is the greatest gift a person could give. You are smart to think about the consequences of bringing new life into the world, Arindam. I tip my hat to you. And happy birthday, early. I wish I could be 27 again, and know what I know now.

    • Thank you Marcy for these kind words and wishes. I am really sorry for the late reply. It’s great that, your son is settling down in July. You must be busy preparing for the celebration.
      And yes, I do believe we all need to thing about the consequence of bringing out a new life to this planet. Only giving birth to a child is not the end of the job. It’s just the start of the journey. I hope in today’s world, while a person is making a decision, he/she will must take the various factors which affect the decision in to consideration..

  4. Arindam, you raised a lot of important points but you know, your future kids will find their own path and bring their own gifts and troubles into the world…
    As parents, we do the best we can, and even though our kids inherit some of our strengths and weaknesses, they bring their own along for the ride we call life. That said, you are too young to get married anyway. Enjoy your life and let the chips fall much later…. Just my two cents. Great post! :-)

    • Elizabeth, I am glad to hear that, you thing I am too young to get married. Even I believe the same. :)
      Yes children bring their own unique characteristics with them, but to be honest I am afraid of them inheriting the bad qualities from me. But still lots of time left, I hope that when the time will come I will bring them to this world, with out letting them worry for anything. Thanks for thoughtful words Elizabeth. It’s always a pleasure to hear you.

  5. You are still quite young, and have a lot of living ahead of you. I didn’t think I would ever want children, but that changed; I changed. Maybe you will, too. :) Happy birthday, in case the days get away from me and I miss it.

  6. Besides good parents, Arindam, the world needs good aunts and uncles. Parents need to know they can have some respite on occasion and who better to take over than an inexperienced aunt or uncle who have no idea what they are getting themselves into?!

    Seriously, I have no regrets about not having a child. I love young people and enjoy my nieces and nephews immensely. And now, I have people like you! :D

    • Amy aunty, let me tell you- I am the most favorite uncle of all my nieces and nephews. And the reason for that is very simple- since their childhood I tried to treat them as friends; so that they can share with me whatever they want without any fear.
      And again I know you love your nieces and nephews a lot and the same from their side also. And I am really glad to hear that, I could enter in to your dear people list. Thanks a lot Amy aunty. :)

      • You are such a sweet young man, Arindam! If and when you decide it’s time to get married, there’s going to be a bunch of us “aunties” wanting to be there!! :D

        • I can’t be more happier if you will all grace the occasion with your presence. But more that me deciding the time, I hope the important thing is to get the right lady to marry. I hope I can find her with in next 2-3 years. :)

  7. good looking arindam… happy birthday! and about the kids… dont think so much, when the time is right everything falls into place and believe me besides the chromosomes, kids bring many more things into the world… things that are completely theirs, and then some of your grandmoms, some from their nana perhaps, something from a long forgotten aunt and its a heady concoction that is uniquely them. The world will be a better place because of them and the world as it is , is not ideal but its not that bad really! enjoy your day!

    • Ha ! Am I not Sapna. :) Do not disappoint me by telling the truth. :)
      Jokes apart, yes time will tell, what they will bring to this world with them. Although I wish and hope they will bring something better than me. Yes the world is a good place; but the thing is that there are some people who can’t fit in to it properly. :)
      Thanks a lot for the birth day wish.

  8. I’m surprised this is one of the first times you’ve experienced this. I’m 21 and it’s pretty common now for me to hear of friends having children and getting married. I think there’s been a U-turn in generations. My mums generation waited to their 30′s, even 40′s, to start a family. My generation are starting families the second they leave school. I couldn’t have children now. I have so much to do before that happens and I realised that even more when my friend (same age as me) came to my house with her 3 year old. She was a very sweet kid but you had to constantly watch her. Every time she picked up her drink, every time she left the room you had to follow, she was sliding across the floor etc. I couldn’t cope with that all the time. Now there’s even more to think about. There’s not enough jobs and houses for the people in the UK as it is so god knows what all the babies born now are going to do. I don’t think the people having children now even realise this and that’s scary. They will be supporting those children up until the age of 25 at least the way things are going.

    • Yes Megan, it was for the first time I experienced so. It’s very interesting that, at 21 it’s very common to hear of friends having children. Your friends are really brave Megan. :) And yes as you mentioned kids need constant attention. So you are not ready with this, as I guess your priority for now is career. This kind of decision differs from person to person; but what I want to highlight through this post is, “do we realize if we are ready to bring a new life to this world?” May be more people need to ask this question to themselves and if they get the answer as yes than there is no problem in going with it.

  9. Arindam, the fact that you are giving the possibility of having or not having children so much thought is indeed encouraging! You are still so young, a sentiment which by the way you will hear for the rest of your life as long as there are older people to say it. The ultimate decision belongs to you and your future partner.

    Happy Birthday and all best wishes to you – hope your nieces, nephews, friends and family give you a great day!

    • Thanks a lot for the birthday wish Patti. :)
      Yes like everyone else I also want to have children, when the time will come. But I do not want to bring them to this planet, until I think I can afford their dreams, does not matter how big they are or how impractical those dreams will look to everyone else.

  10. Well I agree with you to the extent that there’ alkready so much suffering in the world, so why bring new lives to it and make them go through the grind.

    Better is to adopt a child and instill good behavior in them since early age…who knows you may shape up a next einstein one day…and some souls on sky bless you for ur good deed?

    • Yes that the thought which constantly roam in my mind, that why not to adopt a child who has no one to call his/her own. But I hope this is not as easy of a decision as it looks.
      But do not you think shaping up that child as the next Einstein is a huge task? :) But yes who knows, anything can be possible.
      Thanks a lot Ekta, for the visit and taking your time to share your wonderful thought here.

  11. When the person is right, and the time is right, you will know it. I think you are very wise not to rush into anything just because others are doing it. And a child is an enormous responsibility. That’s why I only had one. Perhaps you will feel drawn to adoption later on. Who knows? I think you need to enjoy ‘being Arindam’ for now.

    • Yes Renee, I am enjoying both “being Arindam” and “being Single” for now. :) But I also do realize that, I need to settle down with in 2-3 years. I can only hope that, I will get the right person by then. And yes, child is a big responsibility. That’s what I wanted to say with this post that, we need to realize what kind of life we are going to offer to the new born baby. If we are good enough to provide every support both financially and emotionally than only we need to go with that decision.

  12. “Happy Birthday to you Arindam! :-)
    ˜”*°•.˜”*°•.˜”*°•.★★.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜
    ¸¸.•*¨*•░H░A░P░P░Y░(¯`’•.¸ *♥♥♥* ¸.•’´¯) ░B░I░R░ T░H░D░A░Y░ (¯`’•.¸*♥♥♥*¸.•’´¯) Hope you enjoy YOUR special day!
    ║╚╦═╦═╦═╦╦╗ ║╚╦═╦═╦═╦╦╗ ║╚╦╦═╣╚╣╚╦╝╠═╦╦╗
    ║║║╬║╬║╬║║║ ║║║╬║╬║╬║║║ ║╬║║╔╣╔╣║║╬║╬║║║
    ╚╩╩╩╣╔╣╔╩╗║ ╚╩╩╩╣╔╣╔╩╗║ ╚═╩╩╝╚═╩╩╩═╩╩╩╗║
    ¸.•*¨*•.♪♫♫♪Happy Birthday .♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸ ♥Happy Birthday to youuuuu ♪♫•*¨*•.¸.•*¨*•♫
    ˜”*°•.˜”*°•.˜”*°•.★★.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜”

  13. I really like the portraits in your widget. Now back to the topic. I agree, with you. I often pause and wonder about large families. I had a friend who was the 6thh child out of 10 in her family. She hated the lack of privacy, finances, and responsibility placed on the older kids. She said she was NEVER going to have more than 2 kids. I’ve lost contact with her, but often think of all the great things in her big family, and she felt “too many kids” far outweighted the positive benefits.

    By the way…happiest of birthdays. May your mind and heart be at peace with easy thoughts.

    • First of all thanks a lot Barb for the wishes. :)
      Now as per your comment, I have also seen many people in India with some 10 or more siblings. I wonder what was their parents thought while giving birth to so many children. I hope they think that, their job was finished once they brought them to this world. I hope people need to realize if they can afford it or not while bringing some new lives to this planet. As people say , “Nothing comes for free in this world! ” :)

    • Wow! What a beautiful complement Ren. :) Even I think so. Thanks a lot for taking your time to read and comment. It’s always a pleasure of mine to see you here.

  14. I loved it! And I can so totally relate with it! One of my classmates just had a kid at 22! I just don’t understand how people manage to take up responsibility of another life when they themselves are so lost and young! Great post!

    Happy Birthday btw :)

    • Thanks a lot Shalvika. :)
      Yes it’s quite difficult to analyze mindset of those people who take such a bold decision at such a young age. But yes, it’s a personal decision, so we need to respect their decision. :)

  15. I guess I am late by a few days.
    Hope you had a wonderful birthday Arindam.
    And may your year ahead be wonderful with everyday much more special than the last :)

    And my my my … what an amusing read. you are afraid the offspring will inherit your good looks :lol: and pride – that is wonderful isn’t it? you are a handsome bloke by the looks of it ;) … and I’m sure they will inherit quite a lot of positive attitude from you … I guess upbringing an all rounded person (even if one) will do good to the world … Kids bring a totally different dimension to our lives… wish you all the best.

    • Thanks a lot for the wish Amira. :)
      I am glad you like this post. I am not sure if my kids will inherit anything good from me, as I have very little good things in me. :) Still I hope when the time will come more than making me proud they will be proud of themselves. :)

  16. Arindam – you choose some really deep and meaningful things to worry about! I did the Mendel stuff with the Open University and I recall he started with Sweet Peas! Lets get things in the right order…

    1, Find that lovely Lady (or man, should you discover that you are gay – in which case the rest will not apply)

    2, Father children with your good Lady – how many is something you will need to discuss during the growth of your family. It’s always important to work as a team – mutual decisions is good – impositions are bad.

    3, Accept that all children are different (even from the same parents) – they all learn at different rates and take an interest in different things.

    4, You will never know what the best parenting is for any child – you can only do your best with the learning curve that is set before you every day.

    There will be times when you will really question your motives, intentions and abilities. Parenting is the most challenging project you will ever undertake. But you should not be afraid of it – The human race would be extinct were it not for the fact that we generally parent successfully.

    But, before then… Time to find that special person… Wish I could help with that but it’s in the hands of you, your family, your friends and, perhaps, some dating websites.

    Ps… Love the greyscale portrait on the right of your page – cool :-)

  17. Oh, so sorry Arindam…late, late and I missed an important date!
    HaPpY bIRtHdAy way back on the 29th! I hope you had a wonderful day celebrating and I believe, you will make a fine father and husband one day. Anybody who spends time reflecting, as you do, is bound to become a success! Think of all the parents that end up having children and they didn’t even think about anything except fun, fun, fun. We have many unplanned pregnancies and many were way too immature to have children! Seriously.
    Relax, keep up the good fight and cheers! :)

    • No worries Sunshine. :)
      A big thank you for all these kind words and beautiful wishes. I will be a good father for sure, but not sure about that husband part. I hope time will tell that. :) Have a great week ahead.

  18. That’s a really good post; it gives good reason to not bringing another child into the world. I can agree with you on about everything, however I am grateful for all four of my handsome sons, I am thankful to be their mother, even though I have not even so much as bought our own home to live in. I am an American, living in Canada, and plan to move home again, I want them to have an education, and respect other people and be happy. They might have dreams that go undone, but isn’t that just reality? Anyway, you haven’t given any sound reason as to why you are not married. It’s economical (as far as I know, that is a global norm.), it offers aid to gain any of your own dreams and prosperity, and it offer solace. Best~ kl

    • Now to answer to your question, why I am not married; there are two reasons actually; one is I have not found a girl yet, with whom I could spend my rest of life and the other one is I am not ready for it. To be honest I do not know, which one is the perfect one. :)
      You said that- you want your sons to have education, and respect other peoples and be happy. It just show how good are you as a person.
      Best wishes to you. I hope & wish you will move home soon.

  19. It is a nice post and I cant stop laughing I dont know exactly why.. May be am happy to find there are so many who share my thoughts on this specific topic or something else.. But good one really…

    • I really laughed out laud listening that you could not stop laughing reading this post; which was actually intended to make people sad. :)
      Jokes a part, thanks a lot for all of your kind words and visit. I do appreciate it. And yes that is the beauty of blogging, we all at some point realize that, we are not the only one who think so on a specific topic.

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