Newton’s Laws of Emotion

I hope you all know Sir Isaac Newton; the great English physicist, mathematician, astronomer, natural philosopher, alchemist and theologian. But there is one thing which you all do not know. Which is he never married, although people say he was once engaged.

I was not born during that time, so I can’t tell you the truth about his engagement. But I can tell you the reasons behind him not getting married.  I am going to explain Newton’s Laws of Emotion, which I have derived from his Law’s of motion. I hope you will get the answer by your own why Sir Newton preferred to stay unmarried.

Newton’s First Law of Motion-

An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted on by an unbalanced force. An object in motion continues in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. This law is often called  “the law of inertia”.

Newton’s First Law of Emotion-

A wife at the state of happiness will remain at happiness unless replied by an unbalanced answer  which is “No” to her demands .

A wife, who always seeks her husbands attention which sometimes causes irritation, continues seeking attention,  unless acted up on by an unbalanced force called Kids.

This law is also called as “the law of Parentia”. (Where Parentia is the resistance of any parent to a change in his/her state of emotion, or the tendency of him/her to resist any change in his/her emotion.)

Explanation-

Newton’s second law of Motion-

Acceleration is produced when a force acts on a mass. The greater the mass (of the object being accelerated) the greater the amount of force needed (to accelerate the object).

Newton’s second law of emotion-

Acceleration of wife  is produced when a force called “Money” acts on a mass called “demand of Wife” (Which is equals to weight of wife). The greater the demand the greater the amount of money needed  to accelerate the object towards a peaceful solution.

This can also be expressed with mathematical expression-

F=M x A

Where

  • F -Total  Money Required to meet the demand of wife
  • M- Weight of wife (which is equals to Demand of wife )
  • A- Acceleration of that heavy object which we call as wife, when some force applied to her. Where force may be money, gift or sometimes a simple yes to her never ending demands.

Explanation-

Everyone knows that heavier objects ( require more force (money) to move the same distance as lighter objects to reach the state of peace.

This is an example of how Newton’s Second Law works:

 A lady “X” , who weighs 100 kg, is in no mood to go to her husband boss’s place for dinner. Her husband  is trying to push her, and he makes her to go at 0.10 m/s/s. Using Newton’s Second Law, you can compute how much force her husband is applying to her?

Answer = F= 100 x .10= 11$

Newton’s third Law of motion-

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Newton’s third Law of emotion-

For every action (question) of a husband there is an equal & opposite reaction (answer) of wife.

For example-

When a couple has argument over something. An equal and opposite reply is going to come from wife.

When a husband kisses his wife, then wife also kisses him back with same passion and emotion.


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23 thoughts on “Newton’s Laws of Emotion

  1. Oh my gosh, Arindam this is hysterical. Still, I have to agree many women can be exactly the way you stated in this post.

    Blessings – Maxi

  2. Arindam – that’s hilarious :-) Newton was probably Gay but kept his proclivities under wraps very well. His relationship with Nicolas Fatio de Duillier suggests an emotional aspect. But, does it matter? Probably not.

    Reading… Isaac Newton – The Last Sorcerer by Michael White. Fascinating Book!

  3. What? You weren’t around in the 1600-1700s? Sorry, I had to go there! I enjoyed reading your post. Have you been talking to my husband???? LOL

    • Sorry to say, but I landed on this planet on May 29th 1985. :) LOL
      And I can’t tell, if I have been talking to your husband or not. It’s a top secret. I can’t reveal it. :)
      Thanks a lot Patti. Your comment made me laugh.

  4. so glad it ended well :D

    message to all the husbands and to-be husbands out there :
    DONT START AN ARGUMENT – there will be equal reaction :lol:
    if you want to stay sane …. :)

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