You may be winner in other people’s eyes, but have you ever tried to see yourself in your own eyes.Have you ever tried to stand in front of a mirror and ask yourself “Am I proud of myself ?” or “What Am I, a winner or a loser?” I also asked the same question to myself and I got the answer that, I am nothing but a loser. It may be sounding like I am low on confidence or I am drunk. But believe me it’s a fact; which very few people are ready to accept. How can someone be a winner in life by having a good career, a beautiful wife/girlfriend, wonderful children and all other materialistic things those are required to feel comfortable in life.
Everyone should ask one question to himself that “does life really all about only these things? Do words like- “peace”, “happiness” and “self-satisfaction” have no meanings in life?” Do not we need to give these words equal weight-age with “money”, “success” & “fame” in life?
In our childhood days, we were more than happy in spending that little amount of money our parents were giving us. But now do we really get that much happiness spending a bigger amount in watching a movie in a theater, or going to a pub or disco with friends on weekends or having a dinner together in a much bigger hotel. May be not. But have we ever tried to find the reason behind this? I believe may be its due to the fact somewhere walking towards achieving our goals we lost those peoples who love & care for us unconditionally. When we were nothing those people stood by our side. But we valued our desire for success more than their love for us. Now when I hold my cell phone and go through my contact list, I see lots of those people’s name are missing in my list. May be we never realize that one day we are going to be out of sight of each others. That’s why I am saying that I am a loser. Because I never realized worth of those people.
Once up on a time I was finding satisfaction in bringing smile on a child’s face by giving him/her a chocolate or helping an old man while crossing the road, whom I did not know. But maybe now I am least bother about those things. I expect that someone else is going to do it, then why do I! May be I have started prioritize things according to my needs. May be I am not realizing that I have become a selfish. May be somewhere down the line now I am loosing that self satisfaction, which I was getting by doing those stuffs. That’s why I am a loser.
When I started realizing the difference between aim & dream, I started aiming those things which other people said, I can achieve. May be I thought that dreams had values, only when someone is sleeping. May be I never tried to dream with open eyes. May be I did not have that much confidence in me that time to tell others that I may be good at those things which you people are seeing. But I am best at something else. So I am a loser, as I could not convince others that my aim in life is to make my dreams come true.
When I was child my parents took care of mine in the best possible way. They never left my hand till they were sure that, now onwards I could walk by my own. They gave importance to my need, my emotion, my happiness, my achievements, my comfort more than their own. But when the time came for me to look whether they need my hand to walk their rest of journey, I am far away to hold their hands. I may love them more than anyone else. But is it enough to only love them. If when I was born, they would have only loved me and left my hand to walk my life’s journey by my own; then what would have happened to me. Yes they are happy in seeing me successful. They also want me to reach all the peeks of my career, like other people’s son. Yes they are happy when I call them for 5-10 minutes everyday. May be they live the whole day with me in those five minutes. May be now I am habituated to this kind of life. May be I have started believing that life goes like this only. So I am a loser, as I compromised with life to prove myself in front of others, knowing that these peoples have no values in my life.
I thought I gave you enough reasons to prove yes I am a looser. Yet I am sure one day I will win. What if I will be late for my office, I will for sure help an old man while crossing the road; I will try to give happiness to a small child standing alone. What if people say I have gone mad, I will try to make those dreams come true which I saw long time ago. What if I will not be that much successful in life like other people’s sons, I will try to give more happiness to my parent’s then those people’s sons. What if I can’t buy a big car, a big home; I will be happy that those people are with me who have importance in my life,who are going to be there by my side all through my life.
“You were not born a winner, and you were not born a loser. You are what you make yourself to be.” -anonymous
I hope you people are going to ask the same question to yourself “Am I a Loser ?” !!!!
“Nobody is born a winner or loser, however, everyone is born a chooser.” -anonymous
Being Arindam.. 
asingleletter.wordpress.com
October 23, 2011
“Nobody is born a winner or loser, however, everyone is born a chooser.”—-What a good quote! It all depends on what your definition of winning and losing is; everyone’s is different!
Arindam
October 23, 2011
Thanks a lot!!
But that quote does not belong to me. I read that one some where. And thought to put in this post of mine.
I appreciate that you visited my blog & gave a comment on it!!
patricemj
October 23, 2011
I love your openness. I do think you are on to something though, it’s ironic. I think in some ways I am a loser too as i have over-valued the opinions of those in power. I’ve tried to be successful in the eyes of the world, but then I realized those eyes are blind, they can’t see me. Now I pay attention to people others view as useless (the man crossing the street), because this is my definition of success. I want to love and be loved and see all of humanity, not just those few individuals who I think can help me further “my dream”. Best to you.
Arindam
October 23, 2011
Thanks a lot Patrice!
You may be a looser just like me! But i hope you will also win one day. It feels really nice when someone say that “I pay attention to people others view as useless.” I hope you will remain the way you are. All the best to you too.
And thanks for visiting my blog & took time to comment on it. I really appreciate it.
writingfeemail
October 23, 2011
I confess, Arindam, that I wasn’t completely sure about the meaning on this one. I read it three times, feeling uncomfortable about ‘liking’ a post where you refer to yourself as a loser. But I think you mean this with tongue in cheek irony – that you aren’t perceived as the outward definition of success, while pursuing that which is the true meaning of it. It is with that spirit that I am hitting the like button. You are making us all think a little more deeply for sure.
Arindam
October 23, 2011
Renee,
You got it right. Even I was feeling uncomfortable while referring myself as a loser. But if i can’t be truthful while answering a question like ‘Am I a loser’? Then how can i expect others to answer it from their heart. So i went with it. I believe every person must have this much reality check that in order to get things like success, money what he is losing!
May be i am no one to change the definition of loser , still i tried to define it in my terms.
Piyush
October 27, 2011
“We always have a choice. To choose between right and wrong.” What you have written is what I felt of myself a while ago and seriously I would repect a man with a family photo than a huge bank balance 😀
Arindam
October 27, 2011
Bang on Piyush! Thats what i thought while writing this one.
What someone will do with the money in his account if that person has no one from those people due to whom he has reached that position in life to share with .
bronxboy55
November 5, 2011
I think the biggest factor is that you’re looking at yourself and asking questions. That’s the only way we can ever improve. It’s probably the most important step. So congratulations. And thank you for writing this.
Arindam
November 5, 2011
Sir it took me more than 20 minutes to reply your comment. I could n’t believe you really read my post. I am going to cherish this moment for a long time. So Thank You for giving me this moment !
Yes i always keep on asking questions to myself, rather than letting others to ask me those questions. what’s the point in seeing myself in other’s eyes. I want to judge myself. Because i believe i am the only person, who can help me to be a better human being. If I can’t then, how anyone else is going to do it for me.
aRVee
December 4, 2011
I enjoyed reading this post. I believe you already are a winner you just don’t realize how successful you are and that I believe you have high standards that’s why you have that question, “Am I a loser”…
Not all people have achieved so much more than you do, so than in itself is a blessing and that in itself makes you a winner.
“Nobody is born a winner or loser, however, everyone is born a chooser.” – I like this one, and you should consider choosing to be a winner because as I’ve said, you already are a winner. Stay blessed! 🙂
Arindam
December 5, 2011
Thank you arvee. 🙂 You are too kind. 🙂 I appreciate that you liked my post.
You really made me feel like i am a winner through your comments, although still i am not consider my self as a winner. But your comment made me think about that for sure. Let’s hope that one day i can consider myself as a winner in my own eyes.
Thanks again for these beautiful words. Nice to see you in my blog. Best wishes to you from my side. 🙂
aRVee
December 5, 2011
Need I insist more? You really are a winner Arindam, you just don’t recognize much your potentials. Anyways, you have really high standards to have you consider yourself as a winner.
Thanks by the way for the follow, I’m honored. 🙂