When “I” meet “Myself” !!

When this beautiful planet, covers its belongings including us humans with a blanket having dark shades of grey and a bluish light radiating from it … when the sun slides down from east to west while playing hide & seek with us, when the birds start singing with the rhythm of silence of the night, when that part of world where few people like me live turned off that light of that dancing sun and lights up that bed lamp in form of a moon and plays tunes with wind that touches me here and there… and tells a story in my ears while entering my room through that half-open window glass. I realize it’s the time I can meet someone whom I can never meet in those crowded streets, in that brightness of day light.

Yes it’s the night I am talking about… when tired bodies of us humans rest in peace and allows our mind to hibernate for a while. It’s the time when majority of us prefers to close our eyes… and to dream, kiss and  make love in that darkness which our close eyes surrounds us with.

It’s only then I open the other half of my window to let that cool breeze bring all the freshness inside my room with it. It’s only then I allow my soul to dance with that tune of silence … to sing with those birds, those frogs without even knowing the lyrics.  It’s only then I try to fall in love with that empty street that lies alone in front of my eyes; it’s only then I try to fall in love with the coldness of that dew drop dissolving in my hand and making it wet. It’s when I fall in love with everything that nature offers us and I believe all of them have souls inside them… which are untouchable, unspeakable.

It’s only time, when I find “myself” in me. It is the time I ask that myself in me, “Who am I really? Am I that man with arrogance, anger just like the whole world sees in me or am I that caring, nice, honest person whom I see in me!!” “Do I need to make others happy or do I need to make myself happy?”

Every night I meet “myself” in that darkness of night, far away from that crowd, which I have to be part of every morning when the Sun again returns to my place from yours and again takes away the “myself” away from “me”.

The next day when the sun moves dancing over my head… I smile looking at the sky and realize that if  ”myself” could not stay with me all the time … then its’ that “I” who have to walk this journey called life all alone.

I again smile looking at that innocent little girl walking with her mother holding her hands and start walking towards my destination. I turn my face to offer that smile to an old man crossing the road, to a traffic police busy with his job, to a beautiful girl whom I have just seen for the first time now and can be my life partner or  may be not….

“I” and that “Smile” on my face walk until again that darkness of night, that silence of street, that moonlight, that empty field, that sky filled with stars again allow me to meet “myself” and ask all those question which I’ve sought answers since past so many years of my life.

Take care  -

With love 

 ”Arindam”

Have that “I” in you ever met that “myself” in you? If yes, then what were the question you’ve asked him/her?

I never knew… how much!

Sun was about to lose its brightness from one side of the sky and from the other side, moon had already started appearing slowly slowly. The sky which was bright and bluish with the white clouds dancing on it few minutes earlier now turned in to dark. I was sitting on the side of a pond with a stick in my hand. Sometimes we human hold on to those things which are of no use to us at that point of time, but they make us feel good and somehow they give us company although those things can’t breathe, talk or even move like us. And that stick in my hand was one of such things at that point of time. I had nothing to do with that stick; still it did not fail to give me company in a lonely place where the sound of birds, swing of trees or even few stones which I was throwing in to that pond were clearly audible while hitting the water surface.

(Photo credit: gval.net)

I was drawing a picture on the wet surface of land near to the pond; although I was not sure where my imagination would end up with. After few minutes of that creativity, for which not a single person in this world would ever dare to pay me something; I could see I ended up drawing a face of a girl on it. I was not sure who she was; if she was my past, present or future. I was not even sure of existence of any girl with similar feature; which I painted on the sand. It might be priceless for those people who wanted to buy a face that would have enhanced the beauty of their dining room, living room or bed room with its presence on wall. But for me it was a beautiful face, whom I could trust, I could love and I could value the most. In the mean time, I could also realize I was not successful in transforming my imagination to a beautiful painting with the sharp end of that stick in my hand. Might be that weakness of me not being so expressive was hurting my desires to give a face to my imaginations. Although those eyes which I painted were not as beautiful as they were in my imagination; might be those lips would also not fit in to mine, as I would have once imagined. Still I could see these lips were not capable of telling a lie. And it’s a quality in a woman any man of my kind would die for.

When I came out of my thought and introspection about myself, I realized that now the beautiful colors of the sky were reflecting on the water of the pond making it look beautiful. It was a view as if the rainbow had suddenly appeared on the planet earth. But I knew that the beauty never lasts long. So I realized it was going to last for a shorter period of time.

So I tried  again to look back at that picture which I had drawn few minutes earlier. But this time, it was blurry and not that much visible as it was few minutes earlier. I thought that’s the trend of life. There is always a tomorrow, and we can just wish and hope that day to be a better day than what it was today. But I thought in my mind, who knows might be it would rain tomorrow and my imagination would flow into that pond water with the upper lair of that soil on which I have drawn it.

I turned back and started walking. But while doing so, I could hear my mouth with the help of my tongue, singing those lines of my favorite song “Humein tumse pyar kitna, yeh hum nahin jante…. magar jee nahin sakte tumhare bina”…. (In English which means…, “I never knew how much I love you… Now I know I cannot live without you”).

It was a moment of introspection. But more than that, it was a moment of realization. So I thought might be omen was signaling me that my past had something to do with my future.

I returned home after so much happening in my life and went to sleep. The next morning when I woke up, I could hear the rain drop falling on my rooftop and I realized my imagination had already lost its existence. I was hurt and disappointed and I sat on my chair as if my world ended.

After few minutes I could hear my mouth singing another stanza of that same song, which I sang while returning home which was,“suna gam judai ka uthate hain log, jaane zindagi kaise bitate hain log! Din bhi yahan toh lage barash ka shamma! Humein intezaar kitna yeh hum nahin zaante magar zee nahin sakte tumhare bina!” (in English which means, “I heard that people bear the pain of being away, Don’t know how they live with this pain I feel each day like a year now, Never knew how much I long for you, Now I know I cannot live without you…)

By hearing this I stood from the same chair as if these words came from my mouth were wake up call for me. And I returned to the same place and what I saw there was astonishing. I saw another boy watching my imagination sitting near to it. By seeing me coming in the same direction, that boy ran towards the opposite direction; as if he realized it was something that belonged to me only.

I just smiled and tried to redraw those parts of that girl’s face which the previous night’s raindrops washed away as if bad times wash away a person’s beautiful memories. And while doing so, I could again hear my mouth singing,

“Tumhe koi aur dekhe toh jalta hai dil, badi muskilon se phir sambhal ta hai dil, kya kya jatan karte hain tumhe kya patta. Humhe tumse pyar kitna hum nahin jante… magar jee nahin sakte tumhare bina!”

(In English which means,

“My heart feels jealous when someone looks at you, I convince my heart with great difficulty, You don’t know, how much I have sacrificed for you, I don’t know how much restlessness is my heart, Now I know I cannot live without you”)

Do not go by his innocent eyes!!

When I read one of my most dearest blogging buddies, Elyse‘s post ”OneOhFive and Counting“ which was beautifully written by Elyse as a tribute to Cooper,her dog on his 15th Birthday. And her story tells how these beautiful and innocent souls in animal skins can fill that empty space in our lives with their love and innocence.

So keeping my promise to Elyse, here are few pictures of me and my 3 months old cute little friend “Chotu”!!

Prince of our kingdom!!

Brothers… My Cat & Dog!!

He never leaves me alone… even if I am sleeping

Randomly Random!!

My clicks with my fav quotes

 

May life give you enough inspiration and may your destiny offer you enough strength and support to reach a destination that some of us define as  ”Dreams!”

 

“Have a great FRIDAY, guys!!!!!

Missing you all!!!! See you after March 17th!! (Possibly )

What’s up!

Hi GUYS,

What’s up! I’ve not written a single post  this year. So I thought, you people might have forgotten me.  I have achieved more than what I desired last year, through blogging. The only regret is that, I could never see myself in that freshly pressed list. But it was a fair call; so I accepted it whole heartily  But I am happy that my post based on a fictional love story “I too had a small love story” topped the Google search item list. It was a sample chapter of the novel I am writing currently. SO I am glad to receive such an overwhelming response on that post.

Even today I receive mails from my own countrymen, praising my work. And believe me it means a lot. And I have completed more than half of my first fictional book. So I am happy and satisfied. And if you have not read this post, then go and read it; so that through your feedback I can try to do necessary changes to my first fictional book. I’ve a feeling it’s going to change my life.

I am not going to be that much active in this blogosphere this year; as I have so many things to do this year. Starting from my first two novels to a short movie based on one of my most favorite story,  “Rebati” (Which is a short story based on a girl’s life).

So please send me your good wishes and blessing this year too. What if I am not going to active in this blogosphere; you people know how much I love and care for you.  Do not you!

Wishing you all the happiness my dear blogging friends and readers!

Regards,

Arindam!

Need, want and demand do changes!

As a kid, after performing my evening prayers, I used to pray god, “Please God bless me that I will never die”. It was a wish coming from heart of an innocent kid, who was enjoying every moment of his life with his family and friends and who used to believe life would always remain beautiful to him. And I am talking about those days when writing letter was the one and only mode of communication for us, Shakti-man (Indian Super Hero) was stronger for us than super heroes like Super-man, Bat-man or Spider-man,  every foreigner was rich in our thoughts and porn was not accessible to our youth.

Then like everyone else I too grew up to become a young man. That wish of staying alive forever got replaced with wishes like, “Hey God, please help me secure good grades in exams! Hey God give me a beautiful girlfriend! Hey God,  give me a chance to kiss her today! Hey God let no one sees us, if both of us agree to kiss each other! Hey God solve all the problems of my family!” and the list continues. God blessed me with few of those wishes and ignored few as they were not allowed in our society.

Nowadays if I am wishing anything from God then that is only money, money and plenty of money. I want to earn so much money in the next five to ten years of my life that, people who know me start believing that I have given them plenty of reasons to feel proud. I know when I talk about money; many intelligent people are going to say money is not all we want in life. But for me, it goes in the other way. Since the moment I started watching news channels, I attracted toward opposite sex,  I realized that every foreigner is not rich, I also realized that as a human death is inevitable  I had never ever cared much about money. There were two reasons behind it, either my needs were less or I was getting money from my family without even asking for it. Then there comes a phase in every person’s life, when he realizes importance of money. After all we are humans, not God or saints; who need a pair of clothes and a dozen of bananas or few apples to survive in this world. Might be those people live in less crowded places like inside a forest or on a hill; so they do not have to care about others. Then they do not keep the cell phone with them either; so they do not have to either answer or explain about something to others. But as normal humans we live in a place where we have to live with hundred of people, who judge you on your financial status, who respect us   due to the success we achieve in our profession.

There are days, when you pour hot tea inside a cup and it falls down and you have no other option left with you other than letting your mouth speak the words like, “What the F*ck!” while cleaning that layer of tea from your kitchen table. There are days, when you look at a street dog with a smiling face and he starts barking at you. There are days when your close friends let you know that, those girls who had crush on you during school or college lives are now their girlfriends. There are days, when your heart beats for a beautiful girl and you have to remain silent because she does deserve a more successful person than you. There are days when you do not realize that your cell phone battery has gone dry, because you no more feel its importance anymore and you want to throw it away.

When these kinds of things happen, it frustrates you. Those you want to ignore everything that goes around you; but you can’t. People everyday try to convince you are nothing other than a failure. With disappointment, you throw the pen on air and decide never to write again. But then you see there are still mails and comments are waiting for your reply on a short story which you wrote long time back. Then when you search for the reason, “how could these people reach one of your old post?”; you come to know that, “Link to your story, has found its place in the first page of Google search items when someone types ‘Short love story’ or ‘short love stories’. And what makes you happier is that Google thinks your small love story is good enough to come  first in that search items list, if someone searches for a ‘small love story’.”

When you try to share your happiness or pride with someone you realize it will not matter much to others; so you decide to remain silent and while rolling that pen in your hands you again start to think, “how can I earn money, money and more money”?

NB:- To all those people who have sent me mails and messages reading that love story, a big thank you from bottom of the heart. I am really sorry if I am late in replying to either your mails or comments. But sure your words make me happy and I do appreciate your feedback and I am going to make sure I will reply to all your words soon.

14 HR Q/A that will not help you to get job!

In today’s time, if you do not know how to sell yourself then life would be tough for you. In marketing terms, I may say to sell something you need to realize what the customer wants from the product. So as a human product, when a person sale himself to any company he has to go through some common questions, whose answers are predictable. The interviewer expects you to give honestly dishonest answers.

A letter to my Grandfather, who was not part of my childhood!

I have no memories of my grandfather with me; He died when I was just one year old. I can only imagine his presence, his personality, his voice, his elegance while looking at that photograph, before which I sometimes stand holding my two hands together while seeking his blessing. I know I can never talk to him, in my life time; but what I can do I can put all my thoughts in form of words in a letter which I am going to write specially for my grandfather. I know when words come from heart, it always reach to the place where they were intended.

—————————-

 

Respected Dada, (In our family we call our grandfather as ‘Dada’) 

As a grandfather, you were not there for me to bless me when I went for exams or interviews. You were not there, when I needed something and no one else bothered to buy it for me. You were not there to support me, when I committed few mistakes of my life Even though you were a writer with such a vast knowledge in English; I never got the chance to ask for your suggestion while presenting you the first draft of anything I write. Things would have been different, if you were here to edit my first book. You know that, while writing something your grandson’s grammar sometimes go for ride and I know you had a great hold at this language. So it would not have been a difficult task for you to help me learn how and when to change gears in writing with proper use of verbs. 

Your kids, very proudly do let us know that, their father had written a dictionary, from English, the language of the people across the world speak to Oriya, the language people whom we meet every day speak. But sadly, it could never able to see the light of the day. And you did not even leave a single copy for us, to try and help it in getting the appreciation it deserves. Now when we proudly share our lost glory with someone, he actually laughs at us while making fun of us. I know it hurts you; but it’s your entire fault; you did not leave any proof for us. In this selfish world you choose to give a land to a jewellery shop owner at the center of the town we live, while buying your own land near to a river.

But please let me tell you that, they are now very rich people who hardly remember your contribution in their success, And again the garden, with lots of mango trees which you gifted us to store our childhood memories is no more there for your sons to gift their grandsons to store their childhood memories. And I hope you know why it happened and how it happened. You were the one, who taught his children to have faith and belief in their own relatives. And they were good students, so they learnt everything from you; but when your sons applied these lessons given by you in real life, they ended up in the losing side. They did it wrong by having belief in the person who was one among your closest relatives and lost all the properties of yours. That’s why I do believe, there are some thoughts and lessons, which always looks nice on paper; not when a person applies them in the real cruel world.

But Dada (I used to call my grandfather, Dada), still no complain from our side. We are happy being the grandson of a man, who achieved everything in his life by his own. We love you for the way you were. I heard from my parents that, you used to love food (and I can guess that, after reading your book) and all your grand children except me inherited that quality of yours from you. But maybe I inherited something from you which is much more precious.

A book written by my grandfather in my mother tongue “Oriya”.

Lastly, Thank you for leaving something for me and our next generations to feel your presence and blessing; while holding this book in our hands… Bless someone of our family who can bring back that lost glory and who will again help us to realize the power a Surname offers to a person….. DO bless us! Because it’s something no one can ever take away from us.

And please, do give us the strength to leave a legacy of our own again for the generations to follow. But yes this time we are going to make sure, the generation to follow will be capable of holding on to it and we will not let someone else to take it away from us. I knew you had your share of sadness and regrets just like I have. I can realize how much painful it must been for you to see , one of your most favorite 17 years old son was no more, that to be at such a young age. I do know why it was so painful for you, because he was the most loving and responsible among all of your kids.  But dada, you should have fought with your destiny. I know it’s not easy, but not impossible also. I may not assure you, but I will try my best with in my limitations to bring back that lost glory. I know it will take time, as I am aiming high just like you did at some point of time of your life. Do bless me that, I can protect my dreams from not only others but also from circumstances life sometimes offers, while walking towards it.

                                  Straight from the heart of,

                                      Your youngest Grandson “Arindam”.

                                    Date/27Aug2012

 

 

 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Urban

I took these pictures, while my stay in a city called “Chennai” in south India. It’s a beautiful city with wonderful people. The only things which makes life difficult for outsiders living here are- weather, poor water supply to home, power failures and spicy foods. But people living here are so wonderful that, they make up for all these problems a person living here has to deal with. It’s not my hometown, rather it’s in a completely different part of my country. But for sure it’s one of my most favorite place in India.

He could and He did it, for all of us!

This post is dedicated to my hero, hero of the majority of young Indians of our generation, the only person whom I admire a lot in this world. I am talking about a 23 years old guy, who did not top the university exam; neither, he was the CEO of a MNC at such a young age.  Rather what he did and achieved was beyond these materialistic success. He died in 23 March 1931, fighting for the freedom of his motherland, his only love “India”.  But with time, name of this man lost somewhere in the pages of history. Still some of you may have guessed his name right. My hero is no one other than Bhagat Singh, an Indian freedom fighter, who dare to sacrifice his life at an age of 23 for our motherland.

• Bhagat Singh was born in 28^th September 1907 in a village called Lyllapur district of Punjab; which is now known as Faisalabad of Pakistan.
• At the age of 13, Bhagat Singh began to follow Mahatma Gandhi’s non co-operational movement & burnt his school books & British imported clothing. But in1922, Gandhi’s withdrawal of the movement Bhagat singh lost his faith on Gandhi’s idol-ism of non-violence. He realized that armed revolution is the only way to get freedom practically.
• Then he went to National College in Lahore to pursue his studies, which was founded by Lala Lajpat Rai. During this period he came in to contact with revolutionaries such as Bhagwati Charan, Sukhdev and few others.

  

• In 1928 the British Government created a commission under Sir John Simon to report on Indian political situation, which led to protest all over the country; as not a single Indian was not in that committee. In October 30th 1928 while Lala Lajpat Rai and his followers were protecting peacefully, police brutally Lathi charged responding to order given by superintendent of police, James A. Scott.
• After 3 weeks of this Incident, Lala Rajpat Rai died. Bhagat Singh was determined to take revenge of Lajpat Rai’s death by killing James Scott, who was assumed as the reason behind Lala Rajpat Rai’s death. At about 4:15 p.m. on December 17, 1928 John P. Saunders, an Assistant Superintendent of Police was mistaken as Scott and shot by Rajguru and Bhagat Singh. To escape from death punishment Bhagat Singh went from Lahore to Howrah.
• Meanwhile to combat revolutionary like Bhagat Singh, the British government enacted the Defense of India Act to give more power to the police Which was defeated in council by one vote. The Act was then passed under the ordinance which claimed that it was in the best interest of the public.
• In response to this act, the Hindustan Socialist Republican Association planned to explode a bomb in the Central Legislative Assembly where the ordinance was going to be passed. It was decided that Bhagat Singh and Batukeshwar Dutt, another revolutionary, would throw the bomb in the assembly.
• On 8 April 1929, Singh and Dutt threw two bombs onto the assembly and shouted “Inquilab Zindabad!” (“Long Live the Revolution!”). They had no intention to kill anybody, they only wanted to be a loud noise to be produced, which would echo all over India. All happened according to their plan, not a single person in the assembly was injured or dead. This was followed by a shower of leaflets stating that it takes a loud noise to make the deaf hear and also it was written that ”It is easy to kill individuals but you cannot kill the ideas. Great empires crumbled while the ideas survived“. Singh and Dutt gave themselves up for arrest after the bomb. After the trail, He and Dutt were sentenced to ‘Transportation for Life’ for the bombing on June 12, 1929.
• While in prison, Bhagat Singh and two others had written a letter to theVice-roy asking him to treat them as prisoners of war and hence to execute them by firing squad and not by hanging. Prannath Mehta, Bhagat Singh’s friend, visited him in the jail on March 20, four days before his execution, with a draft letter for clemency, but he declined to sign it.

  

• On 23 March 1931 at 7.30PM Bhagat Singh was hanged in Lahore Jail with Rajguru and Sukhdev.

 

 

Some people may argue that the path which Bhagat Singh Choose to give  India its freedom may not be the correct one. Now as people say every argument has 3 sides- your side, my side & the right side. For me it’s not important what is your side and what is right side; for me he was a person who has the guts & desire to fight for his country’s freedom at such a young age. He has shown us, what patriotism is all about.

I am nearly equals to his age. Still the thoughts like patriotism, fight for your motherlands freedom,to  set example in front of others at the cost of your own life never come to my mind. Yes I may say that all the patriotism in me comes out when India plays a game of cricket or hockey against other countries. At his age, people like me and others only care about our own family, friends. But when Bhagat Singh was pressurized by his family, which wanted him to get married, Bhagat Singh left his house in Lahore and went to Kanpur. In a note left behind for his father, Bhagat Singh said: “My life has been dedicated to the noblest cause, that of the freedom of the country. Therefore, there is no rest or worldly desire that can lure me now….”. How could a person be so unselfish from such a young age, How could a person had not fear of death in him? How could a person had so much belief on his strength, ability and intentions at the age of 23 and  dare to fight against the brutal British force.  May be that’s why he is a hero. Why he did not dream about a good job, a beautiful wife just like us. May be the circumstances or condition of India at that time made him like that only. We can only  analyze & respect that person for those qualities in him from such a young age….

India got its independence on August 15th, 1947. Although he dies much before the sun rose in India, the Independent India. But one thing for sure he still lives in all our hearts and he inspires all of us, in what ever small thing we do for our country comparison to what he did for the same land. 

“Happy Independence Day to all Indians, both living in India and abroad”.

……………………………….

These are few of those quotes & notes from Bhagat Singh’s Jail notebook-

Man and Mankind 
“I am a man and all that affects mankind concerns me”
- (Page 43 of Jail notebook) 
Aim of life 
“The aim of life is no more to control mind, but to develop it harmoniously, not to achieve salvation here after, but to make the best use of it here below, and not to realize truth, beauty and good only in contemplation, but also in-the actual experience of daily life; social progress depends not upon the ennoblement of the few but on the enrichment democracy or universal brotherhood can be achieved only when there is an equality of opportunity of opportunity in the social, political and individual life.” (Page 124 of Jail notebook)

 

“Lovers, Lunatics and poets are made of same stuff.” 
― Bhagat Singh

Images taken from- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhagat_Singh

The fear of being a writer!

Peris Khambatta, the Indian model, actress and author, who was also the first citizen of India to present an Academy Award in 1980 once said- “Creative people are very insecure people because they don’t know whether people like them or are in awe of them. That insecurity always comes out. It makes them a better actor, I feel.”

A blogger’s Journey from 1st post to the 100th…

Time to celebrate and thank you all…..

All the journey we cover in our lifetimes are not beautiful. But I started a journey on 22nd September 2011, which was beautiful. A journey which helped me to meet some really wonderful and talented people, a journey which helped me to grow as a person, a journey which made me realize that, it’s not good to stereotype people according to their nationality, religion or gender.

Sky is not that high for those, “who dare to Fly”!

I took a ride, which I never intended,

I reached a beautiful place as if it was painted;

I laughed at myself, when everyone else thought I had gone mad,

Who cares If I was mad; my reason was simple, I did not want to have regrets and to be sad.

Everyone laughed at me,

When they saw, I fell while trying to reach where I Intended;

Few days later, life took its turn and I saw them cry,

As if their dreams and hopes were faded.

To wipe out their tears I extended my hands,

Without even asking, “they laughed at me in those days” why;

To see them remain unanswered,

I said- “when you people chose to run, I decided to fly”.

To hurt those people’s sentiment was not my intention,

I just wanted to pass on a simple lesson;

Do not make a person- “who is dreaming big” feel alone,

One day he will make you realize “his bad days are now gone”.

So if you can then dream, dare and run;

Keep the faith in god and believe that, you are not alone;

Time may beat you today; people may reject you today,

But one day people will realize-“In millions, He was the One”….

-Arindam