Sequel to Memory

A couple of days earlier, I watched a movie called, “Before Sunset”. It’s a sequel to a movie called, “Before Sunrise”. I haven’t seen the first one yet though.

The movie goes like this; a young American man (Hawke) and a young French woman (Delpy) meet on a train and spend one night in Vienna. Nine years later they meet again. They spend one afternoon together in Paris. It’s a beautiful movie.

Starting from the locations, to plots, to characterization to scene settings… everything is just perfect. But after the movie ended I was left with a simple question in my mind, “How could two people meet so comfortably nine years later… as if nothing has changed? How could they start from the same point where they left nine years ago possible?”

Few days earlier I met an old friend of mine. We were really close friends at some point of time. We did not have to look at the clock while calling each other on our cell phones; we were never afraid of cracking a cheap joke at each other as either of us knew, one’s word can never hurt the other.

But after six years, when I met her; somehow I was happy yet uncomfortable. I wanted to talk to her for hours, but could not find just the right words. There was something which was missing. May be it was the love, trust, faith or compatibility we were sharing at some phase of our lives with each other. I do not have the answer and I did not bother to dig too much into that well of past to extract what made us both behave life two strangers although we are not really.

I believe every relationship, be it love, friendship or anything else… keeps two people together with an invisible bond. Somehow time looses that bond. We can’t pause a moment as far as a relationship is concern… and return to that same moment being the same people after a certain time. That can’t be possible.

Benjamin Franklin, very rightly quoted, “Lost time is never found again.” The world is so crowded that, in absence of a person other person finds plenty of reasons and ways to keep himself or herself busy. During this whole process, somehow that person intentionally or unintentionally changes. Just like William Gibson once said, “Time moves in one direction, memory in another.” May be during this journey we meet people who leave their foot prints in our lives and memories. Still when we move forward in this journey we separate ourselves from those few people who were specials to us at some point of time. This is the trend of life, and it’s also the harsh reality of every relationship.

Time does not change any of us, but it unfolds different shades of life in front of us each passing day. We may not realize the changes those occur within us as it’s a very slow process; but for someone who meets us after really long those changes in us proved to be much bigger than what they occur to us and others who meet us on daily basis.

I believe that is the beauty of life, it always gives us a chance to start it all new. It does not compel us to move forward from that point where we left at some point of time carrying all the past baggage.

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31 thoughts on “Sequel to Memory

  1. Interesting and well written post, Arindam. I imagine if I saw someone I hadn’t seen in six years it would be awkward. We experience so much in that period of time….experiences that we haven’t shared with that person.

    1. Thanks a lot Becky!! It’s great to hear from you after a long time.
      Yes that was my point. Time creates that awkwardness. I am glad you enjoyed reading this one. Wish you a happy new year!!

  2. That sounds like a good movie, I’ve not seen either of the ones you mentioned. You raise a good point, how people do change over a period of time. Maybe that’s why we like movies and books.

  3. I know folks who believe that they can just pick up where they left off with a friend … even if months or years have passed. Like you, I disagree. Friendships are beautiful flowers in a garden that have to be nurtured or they might be overtaken by weeds (outside distractions), wither and die. Starting anew, rather than trying to pick up where you left off, sounds like a better direction to go.

    If you want to see a movie that really will make you question time and relationships, see “A Man and a Woman.” I love the original film. But, about 20 years later, they came back with a sequel … not at all what you might expect given the ending in the first film.

    1. “Starting anew, rather than trying to pick up where you left off, sounds like a better direction to go.”- I love this line Judy!! Perfectly said! :)
      Yes Judy I too thought the same. May be it all depends on the individual and how much expressive he is as a person. I am going to watch the movie you mentioned for sure.

      1. Arindam, let me know if you like “A Man and a Woman” (1966), directed by Claude Lelouch, starring Anouk Aimee and Jean-Louis Trintignant. I believe it’s in French with English subtitles. I loved it. I haven’t seen the movies you mentioned. They sound promising.

  4. ‘Time does not change any of us, but it unfolds different shades of life in front of us each passing day.’- so true….
    I personally loved both the movies- before sunrise and before sunset- now waiting to watch before midnight- the third in the series, again after nine years…

  5. I’ve seen that movie, I think. And you know, I’ve also known of relationships that worked both ways: after a long absence they took off as if there had been no interruption, or after a long absence the experienced that disconnect that you describe so well. It’s weird and I don’t understand why it goes one way sometimes and another way other times. But I do know that as we move through life, the experiences we encounter do shape and mold us and condition us to react differently. Perhaps time doesn’t change us (except our hair and saggy skin) but experience changes us.

    1. Is n’t it a beautiful movie Linda!! By the way have you watch the movie “my sassy girl” or not!! I loved that one.
      Yes I am also confused why it goes both ways at different times. :)

  6. sounds like two interesting movies, Arindam…perhaps these two characters in the movie had so many things in common from their past – not that they knew each other before, but grew up in almost the same type of history…hard to answer your question but you bring up a good thought to ponder on. this reminded me of the song by Dan Fogelberg – Same Old Lang Syne – radio stations love playing it during the holiday season. i like Maxi’s answer…only in the movies do we get such great endings. *laughing* cheers!

    1. Yes I too liked Maxi’s answer. We can see happy ending in movies only.. in real life happiness lies in moments and how the story ends hardly matters. I have not heard the song “Same old Land Syne” yet; but I am going to hear it soon. Thanks a lot for leaving such a nice comment.
      I wish all the good things coming your way this year. :)

  7. “Time does not change any of us, but it unfolds different shades of life in front of us each passing day. We may not realize the changproved to be much bigger than what they occur to us and others es those occur within us as it’s a very slow process; but for someone who meets us after really long those changes in us who meet us on daily basis.” So true Bro. A perfect opening post for 2014. Wishing you and your family a great New Year.

  8. I’ve heard of these films and would like to see them. Thank you for the reminder. Most definitely I have had relationships rekindle after years of absence, where we pick up from where we left off, or our interests are so similar we bring those same ones and share totally understanding. On the other hand, I have met others many years later and although I try, although I am patient and don’t give up, there is no spark…nada. Happy New Year in blessing your relationships with the gift of nurture.

    1. Thanks for the blessing. Yes I too found it interesting that, with all dedication and right intention how much we try as humans to start from the same point in any relationship from where we left; still we end up looking helpless.

  9. As with other commentors, Arindam, I’ve experienced both – I love times when years have passed and it’s as though we were together yesterday. I believe it’s because the connection had grown roots in the soul. If, on the other hand, the “intimate comfortableness” is not there, I question if the root really existed. The reason doesn’t matter – but it’s an interesting mystery to mull over.

    When we are truly ourselves, I don’t believe time can create distance in a true soul rooted connection. Therefore, when I’m about to connect with someone from the past, I work at putting my expectations on the shelf.

    1. Amy auntie, I agree that the souls always remain connected even though two people are physically apart. But still time changes priorities, needs and circumstances for people. So although the feelings and attachment remain same still something does not work to make that bond equally strong when two people meet after a long separation.

  10. Oh how i LOVED that movie, too! Truly one of the most beautiful I’ve ever watched!
    Your post is equally beautiful. You were so honest here in expressing your feelings about meeting up with your friend, something that isn’t easy to do when we’re confused by the outcome. I really loved this entire post, and hope you’re encouraged to keep writing as you do.

    1. Thanks Karen for these kind words. They always encourage me to write for sure. I am glad you enjoyed my post. I always try to express my thoughts in the most positive and honest way I can. It makes me happy every time I achieve to do so. :) Have a great day!!

  11. You are doing lovely job, Arindam. I love the way you express the thoughts as it feels to knocking deeply somewhere in the heart. On the way of this 27 years of journey called life..I also experienced both situations and don’t know, why it’s not same always. :) :)

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