Do you still remember me!

Posted on March 11, 2012

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Hello everyone. I hope you remember me! Do not you? I am back…. although I am not sure if you people were waiting for me or not. May be after a long time, I am pressing my laptop’s keys not to practice any new computer programming language. Yes, I was interacting with this machine called laptop from past few weeks. Now I need to talk to you all wonderful people, who can make me feel happy, who can give me some wonderful memories although I have never met anyone of you.   

Some of you keep on visiting my blog, although I was not active in this blogosphere. I have not read many new posts which you people wrote. But it never stopped you from sending me your love & best wishes. And to be honest I am really thankful to all of you.

Actually, when life asks a person too many questions, then rather than writing about something important or something beautiful; we all need to answer them. I have not seen any of those people who love me the most, from past few months. But yes no regret. I am sure they know how much I love them. They value my dreams and aspirations.

 But somehow I am having a feeling that, now I am starting to get habituated to this kind of a life. Now I do not try to prioritize things according to my emotions. If this is called maturity, then yes I am lot more mature now.  And yes, still I do get angry, frustrated, emotional; but the most important thing is now I can control those bullsh*t emotions. 

Things change, people change, relationship change, financial conditions change but why do not emotions?  Why does a man always need support, blessing and love of a woman it may be in form of a mother, sister, girlfriend, wife or daughter? Why does a brother can never tell his brother how much he loves him; although he really does? Why does a friend compete with you although you do not want to do so? Why does a mother love his children unconditionally? Why does a father never show his love for his children? Why do children love their mothers but respect their fathers? Why does everyone look for the bad things in you, although you have some really good qualities in you? 

And the list of questions goes on and on…. Each day life throws a new and important question towards you; whose answer no one really knows or may be everyone knows; but no one really wants to answer it. When I look back I see, I have not done anything good for neither myself nor others. I never achieved anything which I wanted; I do not have some of the people with me whom I loved at some point of time.

It might be my fault or might be due to the wrong choices I made at that point of time. But then also it was my fault as the choice was made by me. When I lost, when I got hurt, I never cried because I wanted to prove that I am a man, a really strong man from heart. But now I realized that, strength does not lie in the tears on the eyes. I should have cried, I should have laughed, and I should have fought with others to get all those things which I wanted, Instead of fighting with my own emotions, with my own inner self. I have support of some wonderful people; but I never realized that they also expect me to support them. So how can I be a good human being? Some times what you do overshadow what you think. But, maybe I realized it very late. I have good intention for all those people who have importance in my life; I love them, I think about them, I care for them, I want them to get every good thing in life and I really miss them, when I am not with them.

But the problem is, I never tell them my feelings for them, I never show them my emotions. May be the reason is that, I think they have so many people to love them; then my love for them will hardly matter. I think they are really strong and successful; so why would they need my help or how could I support them. But I forget that everyone has his/her own problems to deal with, so sometimes few words of love, few words of care gives a person the strength to fight every odd thing in life. So yes I need to change the way I look at things in life, and I hope it’s never late to change anything for good. I hope you will ask those questions to yourselves, which hold importance to you and your life? And I hope you will try to find the answers to them honestly and bravely. So let’s go and try to bring a change in your lives, just like I am trying to do with myself ; before trying to change the whole world. I can assure you it may not help controlling the global warming, but it may help you to stay cool. :)

“Do not forget to tell how much you love those people who love you a lot, just as I did; that person may be your brother, sister, mother, father or anyone else…. because love is the only thing they want from us in return to the love they pour on us. Do not think that, they realize it; actually they want us to make them realize how much we love them…”  -Arindam

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